A Fate Worse Than Death by Jonathan Gould

Author:Jonathan Gould [Gould, Jonathan]
Language: eng
Format: epub, mobi
Publisher: Booktrope
Published: 2015-04-09T23:00:00+00:00

Chapter 10

I HAD BARELY TRAVELLED a block from my office before my suspicions regarding the reason for Sally’s visit were confirmed. Two voices were approaching from behind me. Voices I had grown to know and love during my brief stay in Heaven.

Fortunately, giving Lizard Neck and Frying Pan the slip turned out to be as simple as taking broccoli from an eight-year-old. I made a quick left turn down a side street, doubled back and made a right turn down a second street, and ducked behind a large willow tree. Then I watched as the two of them went bumbling past, pulling on each other’s arms and insisting I had gone the other way.

When the sound of their squabbling had finally receded into the distance, I emerged from my hiding spot and continued my journey. It was still early in the evening, so there were a few people out in the street. As they strolled past, I couldn’t help noticing the beatific looks they bequeathed upon me, and the expressions of utter peace and contentment on their faces. At last, I began to understand what it was Jessie saw in this place. These people had lived their lives; they’d experienced their moments of happiness and pleasure, but they’d also had to work hard and suffer. Now, all of that was over, and they could enjoy a well-earned rest. Heaven catered everything they needed. Their time for worries was over.

At that moment, I realised why I could never fit into Heaven. I had no time to rest. I had a job to do, a case to solve. Unlike everybody else here, I still had plenty of worries.

As I approached that old grate in the wall, a chill ran down my spine. What would I find when I actually arrived in Hell? Could it possibly be as frightful as Jessie claimed? I tried to allay the sudden sense of dread by turning my mind to other things, such as the mess of mangled motives I had alliteratively constructed in my head.

Over the last couple of days, my wanderings through Heaven had revealed no shortage of possible suspects. It seemed that everybody I’d met had some sort of gripe with God’s supposedly mild-mannered son. Sure, some of them were less plausible than others. I had difficulty believing Peter could be the culprit. Even though Phil was responsible for turning him from God’s divine gatekeeper into an overstressed middle manager, he didn’t seem the type to act on his grudges. And besides, when would he have found the time?

Another suspect I was prepared to discount was Alby Stark. He might have professed a profound dislike for Phil, but then again he seemed to hate everyone else in Heaven just as much. In all my conversations with him, he’d never indicated an interest in anything beyond sitting around in a bar, getting sozzled on soda.

There was just the one name that blazed brightly above all others. Someone obsessed with keeping undesirables out of Heaven. Someone furious with Phil for allowing Alby to stay.

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